You know those moments, when we feel like we’re just not cutting it as moms? When everything seems to be going wrong, and you feel like you’re failing at this whole motherhood thing. First off, let me tell you, you’re not alone. Every mom has been there.
Let me start by sharing a bit from my own life. I recently took a trip to New York City with my two adult daughters. We all know how life gets – work, school, family commitments, and those ever-busy social calendars. It can be so hard to find time to truly connect. So, we decided to take a few days off and dedicate them entirely to spending intentional time together. It was a reminder of how precious these moments are, no matter how old your kids get.
This experience got me thinking about the importance of reconnecting with our kids, especially on those days when we feel we’re falling short as moms. It’s not always about grand gestures or expensive trips. Often, it’s the little things that count. So, here’s my take on how to reconnect, whether your kids are young, preteens, teenagers, or even grown-ups like mine.
How to Reconnect with Your Kids
Take a Breather
When things get tough, the best thing you can do sometimes is take a step back. It’s okay to give yourself a moment. Maybe it’s stepping outside for some fresh air, taking a quick walk, or just locking yourself in the bathroom for five uninterrupted minutes. It’s not selfish to take a moment for yourself; it’s necessary.
Talk It Out
Kids are more understanding than we give them credit for. If you’ve had a rough day, talk to them about it. Keep it simple. You could say, “Mom had a tough day today, and I’m sorry if I seemed upset.” This not only shows your kids that it’s okay to have off days, but it also teaches them about expressing emotions.
Listen to Them
Sometimes, we get so caught up in our own stress that we forget to listen. Ask your kids about their day, their favorite part of the day, or anything they want to talk about. Listening to them can help you reconnect and understand their world better.
Apologize If Needed
If you snapped or were a bit too harsh, it’s okay to apologize. This shows your kids that everyone makes mistakes and it’s important to own up to them. A simple, “I’m sorry I was grumpy earlier, I didn’t mean to be,” can go a long way.
Self-Reflection
After the kids are in bed, take some time to think about what made the day tough. Was it just a bad day, or is there something more you need to address? Understanding the root of your feelings can help you manage them better in the future.
Let Go of Perfection
Remember, no mom is perfect. We all have our moments. Forgive yourself for the bad days and know that they don’t define your entire journey as a mom.
Seek Support
Talk to other moms. Chances are, they’ve felt the same way. Sharing your experiences and hearing others can be incredibly comforting. Plus, they might have some great tips on how they handle tough days.
Remember the Good
On tough days, it’s easy to forget the good moments. Try to remember a recent time when you felt like a great mom. Hold on to that feeling. Bad days are just that – days. They pass, and the good moments always come back.
How to Reconnect With Simple Together Time and Fun Plans
Reconnecting with your kids often happens in the simplest ways, much like how my daughters and I reconnected over strolls in Central Park and sipping coffee in Central Perk. It’s about making the most of those everyday moments and occasionally adding a sprinkle of something special. Joining your kids in activities they already enjoy, like watching a show or reading together, can strengthen your bond significantly.
But it’s not just about the here and now. Looking forward can be just as important. Planning a fun, simple activity for the next day or the weekend gives both of you something to get excited about. It could be as uncomplicated as a walk in the park, a visit to a local museum, or trying out a new dessert place. These plans don’t have to be elaborate; the joy often comes from the anticipation and the shared experience, rather than the activity itself.
Whether it’s a spontaneous movie night or a planned outing, it’s these shared experiences that help weave the fabric of your relationship with your kids. From my trip to NYC, I learned that no matter the age of your kids, taking time out to be with them, listen to them, and do things together is priceless.
Ideas on How to Reconnect and Spend Some Quality Time Together
For Younger Kids:
- Story Time: Reading together is always a winner. Let them pick their favorite book, snuggle up, and enjoy the story. It’s a great way to bond and instill a love for reading.
- Arts and Crafts: Get your hands dirty with some fun arts and crafts. It could be as simple as coloring together or making something out of playdough. It’s about being creative together.
- Baking Together: Kids love getting involved in the kitchen. Bake some cookies or a cake, and let them help with the mixing and decorating. It’s fun, and you get a sweet treat at the end!
With Preteens:
- Game Time: Board games or card games are a great way to connect. Choose games that are appropriate for their age and can be fun for adults too.
- DIY Projects: Whether it’s building a model, creating a scrapbook, or redecorating their room, working on a project together can be both fun and fulfilling.
- Cooking a Meal Together: Involve them in making dinner. Let them choose the menu and assist in the preparation. It’s a great life skill and a chance to chat.
For Teenagers:
- Exercise Together: Whether it’s a walk, a bike ride, or a yoga session, doing physical activity together can be a great way to spend time without the pressure of having to make conversation.
- Watching a Movie or Series: Find a show or movie you both can enjoy. It could be a weekly series that you watch together, creating a regular ‘movie night’.
- Learning a New Skill: This could be anything from learning to play a musical instrument to coding. Find something new that interests both of you and learn it together.
For All Ages:
- Nature Walks: A walk in the park or a nature trail is a great way to spend time together. It’s relaxing, and being in nature can be a great stress reliever for both of you.
- Talking About the Day: Sometimes, just sitting and talking about how the day went can be the best way to reconnect. Share your experiences and listen to theirs.
- Planning a Future Activity: Plan something together, like a day out or a small trip. It gives you something to look forward to and involves them in the decision-making process.
The goal of these activities isn’t to fill every minute with action but to create an environment where you and your kids can share experiences and communicate openly. It’s these simple moments that often create the most lasting memories.
Final Thoughts
So, there you have it. On those days when you feel like you’re not doing great, remember these tips. Take a breath, reconnect in simple ways, and give yourself grace. You’re doing a lot better than you think.
